Puro Pedo Magazine

LOS ANGELES – At 3:05 pm today, Chabelo was pronounced alive. ALIVE! How is that even possible, you might ask? I watched Chabelo as a kid and even then, he looked at least 90. So how was it that, almost 30 years later, he was still alive? Crazier still, I was assured he was only 75. His representatives from Televisa assured me that, in fact, Xavier López, better known as “Chabelo”, is still actively working after more than 50 years in show business.

No fucking way!

A quick check on Wikipedia confirmed their story. López was born on February 17, 1935 in the Mexican town of Chicago, Illinois. Damn, he really is 75. Unless, of course, that’s what they WANTED me to believe. I checked Televisa’s website for proof. There it was… a new episode of En Familia con Chabelo was scheduled to air this Sunday! This was all way too “convenient.”

Then, it struck me. CHICAGO?!? Dude was born in Chicago??? Unless… unless they got sloppy. Clearly this had to be a mistake… a mistake made during a COVER UP! Oh I was on to them. Somebody wanted Chabelo alive and I wanted answers.

Who could stand to gain from his life? Televisa? Wikipedia?!? And then…BAM! There it was. GANSITOS! Yes, those delicious little cream-filled pastries Chabelo had been advertising for years on his show! I got hooked on those things since I was a kid and it was all because of Chabelo. Gansitos, for those unfortunate to not have tasted these delights, are, essentially, Twinkies with a decadent strawberry filling, wrapped in tasty milk chocolate. They are simply to die for, or in this case, to LIVE for.

I went to the local Gansito distribution center and stormed my way into the manager’s office, Wikipedia printout in hand. I slammed my fist down on his desk and before I could unleash my tirade, he calmly said, “I know why you’re here. Chabelo. But before you say another word, try a Gansito. Here, let the warm chocolate melt in your mouth as you take your first soft bite. Delicious, yes?”

Well, he certainly convinced me! Chabelo is alive and Gansitos are delicious!

In case you don’t remember how to do these:

1. Download the high res version (800×978 pixels) by clicking on the image above
2. Print your copy
3. Grab a friend and a pen
4. Fill it out
5. Read aloud
6. Laugh
7. Share with more friends!

Now that you’ve laughed, do something.

• Visit ¡Alto Arizona! for more information on how to continue the fight against SB 1070.
• For information on SB 1070 and reactions to it, visit Harry Gamboa Jr.’s website for an excellent list of news articles, video and copyright free images.
• Want to boycott Arizona? Here’s how.
• Participate in May Day events in your city on Saturday, May 1st.
• Don’t forget the students fighting for a DREAM.

Got more ideas? Share them.

Hola Pachuc@s,

Is that Spring in the air or is it a new issue of Puro Pedo Magazine? Must be both because we have a brand new, fun filled issue ready for your enjoyment! Hopefully you have been following our weekly blog posts at PuroPedoMagazine.com, Facebook and the barely breathing MySpace.

There has been a lot to write about these past few months such as the health care debate, immigration reform (or lack thereof), a slumping economy, more cuts to education, racist parties at University of California campuses, Tea Baggers, and the collapse of honorary Chicana Sandra Bullock’s marriage.

In this issue we celebrate:

• Top 10 Rejected MEChA 40th Anniversary Slogans
• Low-Writers: The New Chicana/o Literary Canon
• Olmos Announces Bid for Governor
• Hogwarts to Open Charter School of Wizardry in Boyle Heights
• Lesser Known Chicana/o Firsts
• In/Out and Out/In
• Quiz: How chicana@ Are Ju?
• U.S. to Send More Private Security Forces to Afghanistan
• High School MEChA to Host First Annual Raza Elders Conference
• Comic by Adolfo Rodriguez

To download the new issue, click on the image above or go here.

If you like, love or hate us, tell your friends!

Remember, sharing is caring!

The Puro Pedo Magazine team

Cartoon Submitted by Adolfo Rodriguez

Hogwarts to Open Charter School of Wizardry in Boyle Heights

After years of rumors and speculations, Hogwarts School of Wizardry and the Ministry of Magic announced Wednesday that they will be partnering with LAUSD in opening a new wizardry magnet charter school in the Boyle Heights area. Muggle Mayor of Los Angeles Antonio Villaraigosa shared his excitement at the announcement during a press conference. “We are all excited here in the great City of Los Angeles to host such a fine institution of Wizard education. We just hope we don’t destroy this school like we have with every other school in our district.” LAUSD superintendent Ramon C. Cortines was also delighted by the announcement adding “I don’t practice Santeria; I ain’t got no crystal ball. If I had a million dollars I’d spend it all on this fine school of wizardry.”

Due in large part to a recent ordinance passed through LAUSD, private organizations are able to take over a failing schools and turn them into charter schools. Even though charter schools are “under LAUSD” they are still very much independent. This gives Hogwarts many of the freedoms they need to turn out so many fine wizards and protect their students from “he who shall not be named”.

There have already been rumors swelling that the school will be named The Cesar Chavez School of Wizardry. Sources close to the school say that Headmaster Albus Dumbledore has already tapped Walter Mercado as the principle of the new school. Defense against the dark arts professor Severus Snape is eager to see the new school open up, “For too long muggles have been failing our gifted wizard students. It’s time we step in and revive wizard education in Los Angeles”. Local families rushed to get their children’s applications submitted to the admission lottery upon hearing of the free meal program and on campus housing. Ground breaking is expected in Early September.