Puro Pedo Magazine

In a stunning announcement Wednesday, CNN replaced Lou Dobbs with Mexican anchor and conservative douche bag Jorge Ramos. The announcement confirmed Dobbs’ fears that Mexican are taking “our” jobs.

“Night after night I tried to warn the American people that Mexicans were crossing the border to steal our jobs and now its happened to me.”

Dobbs, known for his xenophobic rantings regarding Mexican immigrants, was not please by the announcement. “I had hoped that I would be replaced by Carlos Mencia to ensure my hate-filled message against Mexicans would live on. I am very disappointed in CNN.”

Dobbs is unclear what the future holds for him. “The job market is quite dismal in this beautiful nation. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I hope that President Obama can turn things around. ”

In a written statement, Dobbs confirmed, “There just isn’t a lot of work for a ranting lunatic right now. It seems that Fox News is one of the only companies hiring the hate-filled insane. My resume is on their desk. I’ll be in the Home Depot Parking lot if they want to talk”

Mexican news Veteran Jorge Ramos will begin work at CNN on Monday.

- Jake Prendez