Archive for January, 2010
Olmos Announces Bid for Governor
Olmos Announces Bid for Governor
by Joseph Cortez and Tezozomoc Vasquez
LOS ANGELES, California – Mexican-American actor Edward James Olmos announced Friday that he will run for Governor in 2010.
The surprise announcement was made during an interview for his latest movie “Battlestar Galactica: The Plan” based off the television series.
“I know how to get California back on its feet regarding health care,” Olmos says, “many people have seen this resolution, but a corrupt government can easily make others turn away from the right solution.” Olmos calls his solution “Kimo-Therapy.”
Olmos continues, “The state is so lame, they paid for the game.”
Although some Californians are skeptical, Olmos is confident about his chances of election. “All the barriers that have stopped people before… I plan to go through them like they don’t exist. Maybe for others they don’t exist, but you will be proud of me,” states Olmos.
Olmos demonstrated his economic plan to a stunned audience when he whipped out a meat cleaver and proceeded to chop an apple in half.
Olmos then raised his hands, wiggled his fingers and proclaimed, “If you have 9 legislators and 5 rejected budget proposals…one two three four five. What do you get? Forty FIVE!’
Nobody was quite sure what he meant by that.
“We’re gonna need a lot of Kleenexes – there’s gonna be a lot of bloodshed,” said Olmos regarding the upcoming election. He made a direct statement to his competition: “Go to woodshop and make yourself a shoeshine box. You’re gonna need it!”
After his victory on “I’m a Celebrity…Get Me out of Here,” Lou Diamond Phillips was chosen as his campaign manager.
Bo Carl, a local registered Republican, states in his blog, “I don’t know if I want some accented actor who stars in violent B-list movies to be representing California.”
Visit www.PuroPedoMagazine.com for full news coverage on Olmos’ campaign.
No comments