Puro Pedo Magazine

Another NBA season has come and blown away and with it an exciting NBA Championship series. This year, the talented San Antonio Spurs swept the up and coming Cleveland Cavaliers. While the champagne drenched San Antonio Spurs praised God for their 4th NBA Championship, On the flipside, the enraged Cleveland Cavaliers blamed God for their loss.

During the NBA Championship wrap up press conference, Cleveland Cavaliers head coach, Mike Brown, congratulated the Spurs for a great game and win. “My hats off to the Spurs. They played really well, but its obvious God loves them more. I’m sure I prayed just as hard as Spurs head coach, Gregg Popovich.”

While the Spurs now have four NBA Championships, the Cleveland Cavaliers were in the Championship series for the first time. Series MVP Tony Parker couldn’t be happier. “This month a NBA Championship ring and next month a Wedding ring (referring to soon to be wife Eva Longoria). On the other hand, a very upset LeBron James stated, “It would be nice if God would stop kicking us while we are down. We lose the biggest series of our lives and have to sleep with butter face chicken heads. I truly hate Tony Parker!”

Many Cleveland Cavaliers fans have decided to boycott God and church in outrage for the Championship loss. Father Timothy O’Sullivan supports the protesters. “Our boys played their hearts out, but God messed it all up. He made us miss free throws, travel, foul and miss key 3 pointers. He is a very vengeful God.”

A young Cavs fan, Haily Davis, asked us the question: “If there is a God, why would he let such a bad thing happen to good people?”

While we couldn’t answer Haily’s question, we know one thing seems sure: Cleveland fans are not going to forgive God for the loss very easily.

– Jake Prendez

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